“How
come you don’t work here anymore?”
“Because a sprained foot doesn’t
heal in two weeks. If I can’t stand on
it for one hour, I definitely can’t stand and walk and
carry heavy shit for EIGHT hours.”
I’ve been saltier than usual
lately. Must be to do with this
Franken-Foot that I’ve injured for the hundred and eighty thousandth time. It’s not even a re-injury, either; it’s a new
one. How many ways can one person fuck
up the same goddamn appendage? I
sprained the “capsule” on top of the ligament connecting my big toe to the rest
of my foot . . . while playing barefoot soccer, after attending the Real Madrid
v. Inter Milan game . . . where I may have drank several pints of beer. Allegedly.
Lesson learned: from now on, shoes must be worn during any
and all periods of questionable sobriety.
