Where's the F@#$%&g Meat?!?!

This is a delicious marinated vegetable salad dressed with olive oil, white wine vinegar, Italian seasonings, Dijon mustard, garlic, sugar, salt, and pepper.  No cooking necessary!  It’s great to serve as a side dish at an afternoon barbecue, but doesn’t keep well, so it works best if you have a large group of people who can eat it all at once.  I however don’t have that luxury; this has been my lunch for the past week. 

            I know what you’re thinking; what the fuck, where’s the meat?  Shouldn’t there be bacon bits on that shit?  And there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for this, I promise.  Perfectly reasonable.  Don’t flip out, but . . .

. . . I got burnt out on meat.

Remain calm . . . just breathe . . . it’s only temporary. 

To be completely honest, my favorite food isn’t bacon or red meat; it’s always been seafood.  And I happen to like green things; I’ve missed them.  I’ve eaten nothing but meat and starch and Girl Scout cookies for the past few months.  So meat and I are sort of “on a break.”  Sort of.  I ate a salad the other day that had salami on it, but the main ingredient was salad, so it counts as salad.  The point is mostly to just eat better and not be a goob because swimsuit season is almost upon us, despite the foot of snow we just got.  And I’ve actually felt better . . . lighter.  Cleansed, in a way.  I’ve even been drinking less, if you can believe it.

This pretty much sums up my eating habits over the last few months (though I wasn’t nearly as bad as her): 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArIBftSOZDI&feature=em-subs_digest

(Fuck YEAH Jenna Marbles!  This bitch is HILARIOUS.)

  

Here’s breakfast!  The bottom layer is a mixture of fat free vanilla yogurt and ricotta cheese, next is raspberry jam, then homemade granola, then strawberries, and shredded coconut.  Rinse, repeat.  Garnish with fruit.  Homemade granola is so easy:  it’s quick oats, sliced almonds, coconut, honey, and olive oil baked in the oven until golden brown.  No one can complain about homemade granola.  This is a damn good—and filling—breakfast; and I put it in a fancy cup so it looks pretty.  Plus, it looks like ice cream for breakfast!

 

And this is dinner:  boiled green beans with toasted walnuts and sliced pears, dressed with shallots, garlic, lemon zest, balsamic, fresh basil and parsley, olive oil, white wine, and Dijon.  It’s really tasty.  And it’ll all be worth it, just you wait and see. . . .